This helping others thing is a lot tougher than I thought...
Not because there are not people to help, but because life is so distracting that we don't see the ones that are in need of assistance. This sounds like a stupid excuse but just doing what 'needs' to be done everyday can be quite time consuming, it can suck up all your attention and then you miss the world around you.
I also have to admit, and I am not proud of this, but I need to be honest, there are people I don't really want to help. When someone asks me for money my immediate reaction is "get away from me...your existence annoys me." I really don't like beggars, and I especially don't like carguards, they make me so angry, that I almost feel entitled to be rude to them, and often I am. Why do they make me so angry? Is it because they don't fit some kind of societal mould I have created in my head? Is it because I feel I have to work so how dare they just ask me for money? Is it because I think they have no pride? or is it because they make me feel guilty? Guilty that even tough I can feel so gloriously sorry for myself at times, and sadness is a friend of mine, I actually have it pretty good. Life if I am honest has been kind to me, I have always had someone who looked out for me...always. There has always been someone who was willing to take care of me, when I was down on my luck, or had no idea where to turn. I had every opportunity a person could have to succeed and if I am honest I didn't have to fight very hard for it. Yes, I did work hard when I had to work hard, but I probably didn't work harder than anybody else would have, and I was always safe, even if I failed I wouldn't have ended up on the street.... I am starting to feel a little bad now, maybe if I just admit that I am lucky and that when all things are said and done I am blessed, and I should be grateful for this, and my gratefulness should inspire me to serve others, even if they make me angry. ( I do not particularly like the word 'blessed'. It has been used way to much and now has an air of smugness around it, I want to blame the hipsters for this but I don't think they are the only guilty ones. Still I had to use the word, because all of us are uniquely blessed we just sometimes forget how much we really have to be thankful for.) It is so easy to convince yourself that you are somehow different than others, to classify them as something so that you can define yourself, we forget we are all in this together.
I still don't think throwing money at people is the answer, often I just give money to make them go away. Perhaps I should just try talking to these people, listen to their stories...people have been there for me all my life, maybe it is time for me to return the favour...I am not promising anything but I will try to give it a go, maybe it will melt my cold, misguided anger.
I did reach out to 5 people, that was the easy part, because it is nice reaching out to friends and family, we just need to make time for it. We often complain that time flies, but it doesn't, we are simply so pre-occupied that we miss it. I think we should all take half a hour out of our day just to reach out to people. Think about the times that you felt a bit low, and how much it would have meant to you if someone just randomly sent love your way...think about it...think about it....now go and do it for someone else.
Side Note: I held a baby today, and it calmed me down completely. To most of you this may not sound like much, but I have always been scared of babies. I like this particular baby I think we are going to be great friends. Maybe babies are not that scary after all.
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