DAY 28: Story time

Today I am in the mood to write a story so that is exactly what I will be doing.

A Night at Jack Dandy's

The slightly depressed clown walked into the bar. None of the patrons of Jack Dandy's paid any attention because the bar welcomed all sorts and it was a well known fact that most clowns were slightly depressed. "Whiskey straight up" said the clown and the barman obliged. The clown lit a cigarette as he scanned the joint. It was a quite night, the barman was wiping the counter trying to look like he had something to do, there was a man wearing a tie-dyed T-shirt just staring at the stage, and while the clown inhaled he noticed the broad at the other end of the counter. She was a big girl, you would struggle to find a country where she would not be considered obese, but that was not what made her stand out, what caught the clowns eye was her outfit. She was dressed as a ballerina. The clown immediately imagined the dancing hippos of Fantasia, and while he was doing this the ballerina started to make her way towards him. "Do you believe in love at first sight?" the ballerina asked as she waited for the clown to light her cigarette. "No" said the clown as he lit it. "Do you believe in love at all?" she asked, now making herself comfortable next to him. "No" he responded again as he put out his cigarette. The clown wasn't aware that the obese ballerina had a thing for clowns. There was something about their red noses that just made her want to give herself to them completely, and she also had thing for their big feet. "You know what they say about the size of a mans feet" she would joke. It never occurred to her that maybe clowns just wore big shoes. "What is your name?" asked the ballerina. "Gary" the clown responded. "No I mean what is your clown name" she said. "Gary" the clown replied. "Mmmm...Gary the clown. I will remember that because I hope to be screaming it later." She said and then she bit her bottom lip and brushed her hair behind her ear. "O why the hell not...sure beats being alone...and I am not getting any younger." the clown thought to himself.  "Why are you dressed as a ballerina?" the clown asked, if they were going to do the dance of two lonely lust filled souls, he might as well get to know her a little. "I do what I like. No one is going to tell me what I can or cannot be. I love to dance, and if I feel like a ballerina...I am a f@king ballerina." She responded rather defensively. "Why are you dressed like a clown?" she asked. "Because I am a clown" he responded. He lit another cigarette and started to over explain things, in the way that slightly depressed clowns often do. "I wanted to be a stand up comedian, but I didn't want to put myself out there that much. I prefer the anonymous life of a clown. I make you laugh, but you just see my mask, you will never see me." said the clown as he took another shot of whiskey. "Why not be both darling." said the ballerina. "What do you mean?" asked the clown. "I mean, why don't you be a clown that does stand-up comedy. You can tell your jokes and no-one has to know who you are....there is a stage right there...why don't you give it a go. I promise I will laugh" said the obese ballerina.

"Nobody takes me seriously." said the clown who was now doing his stand-up comedy routine. The guy wearing the tie-dyed T-shirt, came out of his trance and exploded with laughter. This encouraged the clown. "So how many old people can you fit into a minivan?.....well it all depends on how small you chop them up." It turned out the clown had quite a dark sense of humour, but tie-dye guy and the ballerina were cracking up over his material. The audience of two laughing at his material made the clown forget that he was slightly depressed, and he felt alive. Tie dyed man seemed to be crying from all the laughter, and the clown knew he had discovered his destiny. "My Beautiful ballerina ask me again if I believe in love." the clown said. "Do you believe in love?" the ballerina obeyed. "Tonight I might." the clown answered. The game was over, they would definitely end up in bed together. That was all the ballerina wanted anyway, that was the only reason that she was laughing at his jokes. The man in the tie-dyed shirt was also not really laughing at the clown. He was a Starseed from the Glaxton nebula, sent to earth to help with the ascension of the enlightened ones, or at least that was what he believed, and it is so much cooler than believing that he was merely a 37 year old cab-driver who lived with his mother. The tie-dyed Starseed smoked a lot of pot...a lot, and he was high, off his face, he didn't even hear what the clown said, but his bright suit made him laugh.

The clown and the obese ballerina disappeared from Jack Dandy's shortly after the clowns last joke. The ballerina was very exited to get the clown out of his big shoes, and the clown was all high on life, because he believed he was destined to bring laughter to the world...and he was glad that this story would end with a happy ending...nudge...nudge...wink...wink.

"Well I guess it all depends on how you look at things" said the barman who had been quietly watching everything. "A night at Jack Dandy's changes lives" he grinned and took a swig of whiskey straight out of the bottle.

THE END