Sometimes we push away the things we desire most. There can be many reasons for this behaviour. You may know that what you crave is not really all that good for you, for example chocolate cake, let's pick on chocolate cake for a while. Chocolate cake in all its deliciousness. Come here you delectable morsel...but no our love cannot be...go away. I have chocolate cake on the brain today.
As appetising as a slice of chocolate cake sounds right about now, it is not really what I want to discuss...mmm Chocolate cake.
I have seen it many a time, and I myself am guilty of it, but for some reason we tend to run away from the things that we really want, because it makes us a little uncomfortable. We pursue things, be it a goal, be it a love interest, be it a dream, whatever, the moment we get close to it, we start subconsciously thinking about losing it, and we might even convince ourselves that we never really wanted it anyway, then we abandon the whole pursuit. Our species has developed a glorious knack for justifying our actions, the good and the bad. We lie to ourselves and don't really want to admit that fear has caused another failure. We tell ourselves things like "the thrill is in the chase" because it keeps us from ever having to admit how badly we really want something "It was stupid anyway" we might say. Sometimes we are cowards, but who wants to confess that.
I know I spoke about fear yesterday, but it is a big topic and it has a major influence on us, so I am going to touch on it again. There are three fears I believe that stops us from achieving our goals or attaining our desires. There may be more but what do I know I aint no psychologist and I am just speculating.
The Fear of Rejection: We do not like to be rejected, do we? And who can blame us it really sucks, but in all honesty it is not so bad, it only stings for a little while, and its sting is much better than a lifetime of 'what-ifs'. In the end it is going to be the what-ifs that gets you, you wont even remember the rejections. You get hurt, you cry, you feel sorry for yourself, you get up, you try a little harder, and when you get where you need to be you stop.
The Fear of failure: We don't want to be losers, and failing is embarrassing isn't it? It doesn't have to be. If you have not failed at anything, you must be an alien, and you are indeed a unique snow flake you glorious creature. The rest of us have failed at things many times...or at least I hope so, I hope it is not just me. Some of my favourite people in the world have been considered failures at one point in time. And know this, no one really pays as much attention to us as we think, everyone else is also just busy trying to figure out who they are, and it is a full-time job. The ones who are all up in your grill, and who judges your every move need to seriously get a life, so pay no attention to them. Failing is the best way to learn how not to do something. So let's fail a little, lets fail at love, lets fail at life, but only for a little while, then we regroup and we crush it. The world loves to root for the underdog...the underdog must just never give up. The important thing is to try.
The Fear of Success: This one is much worse than you think, because what if after all of our efforts, all our tears and struggle, when we finally get what we want, it disappoints us.
And now a little bit of lyrics to emphasise my point.
I gotta check myself before I get what I want
Find out it's not what I thought it was - Kwabs:"Walk"
Honestly you can always go back to what you were before you achieved your success. It is your life, it is your choices so do what makes you happy, and here is the thing...at least you will know...and knowing is way better than wondering about something, even if it doesn't turn out the way you hope.
I know I sound all preppy and yeah life today, but trust me these fears cripple me. I have said it many times by identifying things you can defeat them, and that is exactly what I plan to do. You can call me many things sir...but never a coward.
I am going to find a nice sugar free chocolate cake recipe now.
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