Tuesday, April 26, 2016

DAY: 9 Validation



It is hard to find that perfect balance between being humorous and serious. Humour is so delicate, so personal, so subjective, what I may find hilarious, you may find incredibly stupid or even offensive. Seriousness is definitely more respected than humour but to me it is still very opinionated what may be my truths may be the things you laugh at with your friends at barbeques. The constant battle between the internal clown and the cynic.

(I wasn't happy with the word cynic, I wanted a word that described someone who is serious without necessarily being sceptical. So to try and find this word I searched "Clown Antonyms" and this is what I found;

 Antonyms of CLOWN:


 
hero, heroine, idol, role model, gentleman, lady, angel, saint

O the poor clown what bias it has to compete with. Antonym means opposite, and the subtext of the opposing word is not so much to describe itself but rather to indicate what the other is not. So a clown is not a hero....ah poppycock I say. The best heroes and heroines have a sense of humour, isn't that why Superman had to die, yeah he was a hero and stuff, but man was the goody goody boring. 
It is little discoveries like these that make me think we as a society should really reconsider how we classify things. In fact I feel almost offended by that.) Side note: Where the hell did "poppycock" come from...I have never used it before in my life.

Anyway....the constant battle between the internal clown and the cynic. I have many parts, and I am sure you do too, but what I have come to realise is how these different parts, even though they can be the cause of great inner turmoil, protect you. Fragmentation is a survival mechanism. I realise it seems as if I am dabbling in the realm of split personalities...but that is not what I mean at all, I am simply referring to how we are different things to different people, how we wear the correct hat, if you will, for the right situation.

What I am actually trying to say, though I definitely took the long way around, is that The Universe cut me some slack today. Beautiful, glorious, redeeming slack. It ended a war that had been silently going on for more than a decade. The correct sentence at the correct time, spoken by the right lips, and the truth finally revealed itself. I have always believed in the power of words, but now I know its liberation. I was freed from a place where I have been held captive for so long that I stopped believing I was a prisoner...Please excuse my flair for the dramatic and I realise I am being quite vague, but I have to try and tell you this story without really telling it. The characters and the plot are not as important as the message.  It is easy to start doubting yourself and your sanity, I have briefly touched on this before, but I have come to realise something...I am not crazy, or weird at all, I simply cope with the world in my own unique way, I experience the world in my own special way, I make sense of it in my own way and I get hurt by it in my own way. If you think I am crazy because of that shame on you, and you are probably the kind of person that thinks the antonym of clown is hero...there I got that of my chest. How dare anyone of us tell others how they should experience the world, and  that what they are feeling is somehow wrong, how dare we? As it turns out I was the 'SANE' one all along, and I started to feel crazy because I knew I was sane...Inception anyone?
 I know what I am about to say may be frowned upon because we live in a world where everyone believes they are the masters of their own ships, where you are the architect of your own reality and situation, don't be emotional, keep on keeping on, buck up cadet and all that, but you know what, sometimes things are NOT YOUR FREAKIN FAULT. Sometimes people, places and situations really do SUCK, you are not wrong and you are definitely not crazy. Sometimes the world forces you to adapt, to fragment so that you can cope with all the nonsense it throws at you, but only a little bit at a time, and then one day, if you are ready, when you are ready, all the parts unite once more, and you see just how tough you really are. Then slowly you are revealed, and you are freed because you are validated.

So guard you heart, guard you mind and take care of yourself, because you are pretty Alright. Never doubt that.

Ok I think this one was a little more serious than humorous but I think the clown approves...what a saint.






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