DAY 4: The Carousel Spin of Death.

I realised a few things about myself at the pole arts class tonight...as you do.

When I first started I was quite proud of myself and I felt that I progressed at a steady pace, but I now feel like it has come to a halt. The instructor recommended that we all enter a beginner’s competition in September because you know, why not?  I think I have to, because maybe it will force me out of this slump.

I like the moves where you have to rely on your strength, where you have to use your core, where you have to hang on , show how strong you are, what I am really struggling with is the more flowy moves, where you have to twirl, fall and glide down the pole...like a slightly slutty princess, these are the fun moves people and they are getting the better of me. There is one move in particular that has turned out to be my nemesis, it is called the Carousel Spin of Death...ok I added the ‘of death’ part,  it really isn’t even that hard to do but it has got me all kinds of blocked up.

All the fitness instructors say it is because I have a tendency to over-think things instead of doing them, so I overcomplicate things that are relatively easy and end up looking like I have no idea what my body is or how to use it. Now if you also have a tendency to over-think things, you’ll know how hard it is not to do it. It is an extremely weird survival mechanism and I don’t know why we have taught ourselves to do this. And the more people tell you not to over-think things the more you do, it is the pink elephant people tell you not to think about. Add to that that I lose grip with the one hand and refuse to let go with the other. Trust me releasing your grip slightly is rather important to spin around a pole, but no not me, I hold on to that pole for dear life, I hold on to that pole like it is my saviour, I hold on to that pole like if I let go the devil will come and take my soul...o man I hold on to that pole. So in short I don’t spin I kinda just awkwardly hang there.
Now while my one hand has the survival grip of a thousand ninjas, the other one is just like...nah. I have tried swapping them around, but then magically their roles are reversed. My body confuses me...so damn much. This has let to moments in the class where all the girls would look at me with encouragement and say: “Just let go” and I will be all like “You let go” followed quickly by “I don’t know how to let go.” and we would all laugh and laugh.

So basically I am a woman who likes to think she is strong, but easily loses grip and who refuses to let go, and I will probably over-think this situation for the next few weeks to come.